Originally published on Thrive Global.
There are moments in life when we find ourselves at a crossroads — We don’t know what to do next and where to go.
When it comes to our relationships we might be unsure whether we are supposed to be with this person or move forward. We are unsure what the future has for us and afraid of making mistakes.
What if we leave them just to realize that we were better with them or what if we stay stuck in a relationship that doesn’t serve us anymore?
Our stressful thinking stops us from seeing clearly
What makes us feel unsure about our situation is taking our fears and worries too seriously.
I was talking with a woman in a coaching call couple of weeks ago who wanted to talk with me about her relationship. She was not sure if the person she was being with was the right one for her. She felt pressured because she had already come to an age when she needed to decide soon whether she wanted to have a family or not.
When we come from this place it’s hard for us to see clearly. Our stressful thinking overshadows our ability to put things in perspective and make wise decisions. From this place we often see our problems bigger than they truly are and feel insecure when it comes to decision making.
When we feel pressured we don’t do well in life.
Realizing that our happiness doesn’t depend on our choices
If we recognize that our feelings are created inside we take some of the pressure off ourselves.
Our feeling of happiness, like any other feeling, is not coming from the other person or whether we have a family or not — It’s coming inside us. If we see this, does it matter what form our outside world takes?
Recognizing that our feelings are created inside gives us an opportunity to relax more to the moment and be happy with what we got, regardless of our outside circumstances. This gives us an opportunity to be more in peace with life and relate to the choices we need to make more light-heartedly.
When our happiness doesn’t depend on our choices anymore it becomes more of a question to do what feels right for us. This way we are better able to see clearly, have a calmer mind and listen to the wisdom inside that guides us in life.
Being guided by our wisdom
When we take the pressure off we become better able to connect with our own intuition. This wisdom guides us and allows us to make wiser decisions and at the same time have a more pleasant experience of life.
When we begin to listen to this wisdom, instead of listening to our stressful thinking, it becomes easier for us to know what is the right thing for us to do. This knowing comes in a feeling of lightness and form of new thoughts and insights.
The less we have on our mind, the better we are able listen to our guidance and the more space we have for those new thoughts to arise inside us.
The woman I was having the call with had been focusing on her fears and worries instead of stepping into her wisdom. I wanted her to move her focus inside, so I asked her what was her wisdom telling her.
When I asked this question she got quiet. Her face expressions and the feeling in our conversation changed and I could easily see that she was now coming from her wisdom. She looked relaxed and centered.
I shared with her how none of us knows what is going to happen in the future. Maybe she meets someone else or maybe they reunite with her partner. The less caught up we get in our thinking and the more we listen to our own guidance, from moment to moment, the more easily and effortlessly the right answers start to come to us.
Making decisions that serve us
Couple of weeks later I asked the woman how she was doing. She shared with me how she had decided not to make any decisions from the place she was before. In the next couple of days her mind settled down even more and out off that, there came a new understanding that got her to see her relationship in a new light.
She reconnected with her partner and shared with me how they were in a happy place now.
We have always a choice to choose whether we want to listen to our fears or be guided by our wisdom. If we listen to our stressful thoughts and act from that place, we end up doing things that we regret later. If we instead decide not to take our thinking so seriously, wait and let our mind to calm down, we start to see things in wider perspective.
This way we are better able to make decisions that serve us and know whether we are supposed be in our current relationship or move forward and see what else life has for us.
Learn how to live more stress free no matter what challenges we are facing in life.
Learn how to find that feeling of connection and bring the feeling of closeness back into your relationships.