5 Things that I have learned from my relationship.

5 Things that I have learned from my relationship

5 Things that I have learned from my relationship.

When we were coming closer to the end of the year last year I started to reflect on the things that I had learned and felt grateful for.

And when reflecting what I had learned and from who I surprised myself.

Despite of all the books that I had read and the courses that I had taken, I realized how the people I felt like I had learned most from were my partner and family.

Isn’t that wonderful?

No matter where we are in life we can always learn so much from our closest ones, if we simply allow ourselves and are open enough to do so.

Which is why I wanted to write this post. To celebrate those five things that I’ve learned from my partner and I hope that it can also awaken you to see something new. See something within yourself that you may have learned (or can learn) when it comes to your relationships.

So here they are. The five things that I’ve learned from my relationship this past year:

1. It’s not my partner’s job to love me unconditionally

One of the things that I’ve started to see more is that it’s not my partner’s job to love me unconditionally. That’s not love from my part if I expect him to do so.

What I’ve come to see is that if unconditional love is important to me, then it’s my job to love him unconditionally. Period.

And the funny thing is that when we start to see more how this is true and stop expecting the other person to do what is our job, their love will grow to be more unconditional as well — And it may happen in an instant.

2. Sometimes he’s right

Something that I’ve began to see deeper again: Sometimes he is right. Sometimes in the heat of our conversations when we see a same topic from our own different points of view that’s the last thing that I would consider.

However when we finish our conversation and continue our lives there sometimes comes a moment when I suddenly see what he meant. When I see the truth behind his statement, the truth that I was unable to recognize before when I was too busy defending my own way of seeing things.

I’ve began to see more and more how sometimes wisdom shows up in a form of another person and their words.

3. There’s an impersonal nature when it comes to our relationships

This has been something quite new for me to see. During the past year I’ve begun to recognize more of the impersonal nature of our relationships.

I’ve begun to recognize how those times when my partner is doing something that I believe that is wrong, going through that experience has allowed me to grow.

It has never been personal, no matter if it may have looked like it is. The other person simply is a tool of god, allowing us to see more and helping us to step into more that who we truly are.

4. It’s never a good idea to look into the direction of our insecure thinking

This is something that I’ve known for long, yet something that I was still completely challenged by this last year.

How humbling.

It all started from an insecure thought that I experienced when I hadn’t had enough time for myself — And it grew. The more attention I paid to that thought — what if there was some truth behind it — the more it grew.

That’s the power we have to create our own reality. The more we keep on looking to the direction of something, the more of that we create. No matter whether it’s based on something that is true or not.

And yet there were gifts hidden in my experience being caught up in this misunderstanding. First I awakened to see how I would always be fine. Then I began to see that I didn’t want what my ego wanted and thought that was safe. But what I truly wanted was what the Universal mind wanted for me whether I knew what it was or not.

And then at last when I was completely able to see beyond the illusion that I had self created, I was back in that feeling of deep love and connection and more sure than ever: It’s simply never a good idea to look to the direction of our insecure thinking.

5. Love is always the answer

And at last: Love is always the answer. Even if this is something that I’ve seen to be true for a while already, my understanding how love is always the answer has yet deepened during this past year when it comes to my relationships.

It simply truly is when we shift our focus from our challenges and problems, and make it our priority to feel close to one another, we find answers.

Not only are we able to feel these deep feelings of love and contentment again that we are here to enjoy, but also like magic our so called problems seem to disappear.

It’s not a place where we need to get to, but a state of mind.

Thank you for allowing me to grow, find new depths within my soul and for allowing my love and understanding to deepen and grow.

Thank you, for reading this post.

With love,
Heidi

Heidi Paavilainen

Sharing an understanding that allows us to connect more with that deeper part within us, so that we can find our own answers from within, find that greater sense of wellbeing and have relationships that feel good. Receive my weekly emails about love and wellbeing or learn more about my downloadable audios and one-on-one coaching program here.

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