Leaving my twenties behind next year has got me to reflect to all the things I have learned about life.
And even if I feel like I have learned many things — Some through joy and some through struggling — the most important lessons always come back to love.
The more I have learned to understand love and the true nature of it the more enjoyable and joyful my life and relationships have become.
I have learned to enjoy more and forgive more easily. I have learned to forget, overcome my feelings of hurt and focus on the present moment. Love has brought the most wonderful person and relationship into my life (the kind of I didn’t even know how to dream of) and it has taught me how to get comfortable within myself and become more of an expression of love.
In this post I wanted to share with you some of the most valuable lessons I have learned about love, because I truly believe that when we begin to understand love more it becomes easier for us to bring it into our lives. So here are the 5 things I have learned about love, that have allowed me to bring love into my life more effortlessly and have the power to do the same for you.
1. Love doesn’t come from another person
When in my earlier years I used to look for love in another person and in that perfect relationship I was dreaming of, realizing that love comes from within got me to stop searching. When I stopped the search I began to live more in love and the relationship I had been looking for also showed up into my life.
Love never comes from another person and placing our happiness into our relationships will just make us miserable, sooner or later.
Love is a feeling created within, something that we all have already and the only thing we need is to become more aware of it.
When you become aware of the love that is already within you, that is when you’ll begin to see it more in your life. You will begin to see it around you, in other people and your relationships will become more joyful. It is not that the other person will bring more love into your life, but when you first find the feeling of love within, your relationships will become more loving.
2. What stops us from experiencing love
Whether you are in a relationship or not you can experience love in this very moment. What stops us from experiencing love is when we get too caught up in our thinking.
When I get caught up in my thinking it becomes impossible for me to experience love, because I will be experiencing the stressful thoughts that go around in my head.
How can I fall back into the feeling of love? By recognizing what’s going on. Recognizing that I am caught up in my thinking, not experiencing the reality as it is but experiencing my own stressful thoughts about my world.
The minute I realize this and stop engaging with those thoughts, my mind begins to calm down. And as soon as my mind calms down I’ll fall back into the feeling of love — Because that’s my natural state of being.
3. Love is our natural state of being
Love is the natural state where we always come back to whenever we let go of our thinking and become more present.
You don’t have to do anything to find love, because love is who you are — You just need to become more aware how this is true and how love is your natural state of being.
The more you’ll become aware of this, the more connected you will feel to your partner and other people. The more you’ll begin to see that just like love is the natural state of your being it’s also the natural state of your relationships. It becomes easier for you to attract the right people and the right relationships into your life and the more enjoyable your life and relationships will become.
You’ll begin to see more of the love that is already there.
4. If it’s not unconditional it’s not love
Love is always unconditional. It’s kind, generous, accepting and caring — And if it’s not unconditional it’s not love.
We all fall out of and back into the feeling of love all the time. Whenever we experience a negative thought we lose our awareness of love, and whenever our mind calms down and we come back to the present moment we fall back into the feeling of love.
If it’s not unconditional, it’s not love but something else. It might be overexcitement, fear or jealousy. Experiencing these emotions doesn’t mean that we don’t love the other person. It just means that when we experience these feelings we are momentarily caught up in our thinking and have lost our awareness of love.
At that very moment you are not experiencing love, but another feeling.
Just notice that whenever love is conditional, you or the other person has fallen out of the feeling and as soon as your thinking settles down, you can fall back into the feeling of love.
5. Love is in the present moment
So many times we think that whenever we find that perfect partner we will be happy. Whenever we overcome this challenge we are experiencing in our relationship, we can be happy and feel loved.
Love is not in the future, but here and now.
Just like love doesn’t come from another person it doesn’t come from the future and you have everything within to experience the love you are looking for in this very moment.
It’s up to you if you wait until you get what you want before you allow yourself to feel loved or if you let go of the things that you think that will bring you the love that you are looking for, and come back to the present moment to experience the love that is already within you.
And somehow when we do this, when we find the love within in the present moment, our relationships transform. The people around us tend to become more loving, we begin to attract the right people and the right relationships into our lives. We find that feeling of connection we have been longing for.
We all have already what we are ultimately looking for. The more our understanding of our experiences and the true nature of love deepens, the easier it becomes for us to see this in a deeper level. And just as like attracts like, the more we begin to see this and the more we start to show up from the place of love, the more we’ll begin to bring love into our lives.
The more you’ll begin to understand love, the easier it becomes for your to show up from the place of love authentically — And the more you begin to show up from the place of love, the easier it becomes for you to bring more love into your life and the more loving your relationships will become.
Thanks for being here, and for being the love that you ultimately are. If you have any comments or insights I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.
And if you’d like to see how awakening to your true potential and having the kind of relationships you want is really only one thought away, you can learn more about my one-on-one coaching program here and we can discover together how you can have the life and relationships you truly want to have.
With all my love,