There’s a common belief out there that communication itself can improve our relationships. A belief that communication has the power to make things better.
We believe that if only we communicated enough we could solve the problems that we are facing and enjoy better relationships.
However, whenever we think like that we don’t really understand communication.
We don’t see that communication itself cannot make any relationship better or worse, but it’s always the feeling behind the communication that can.
And when our understanding deepens and we learn to see how this is true we begin to naturally come more from that place of love when it comes to our communication and therefore also, enjoy better relationships.
Communication as a tool
Communication itself has no power to make any relationship better or worse, but it’s simply a tool. It’s a tool to transfer our emotions.
Whenever we come from that place of judgement, anger, disappointment or any other negative feeling when we communicate with the other person, the other person can feel this. And more negativity is what is most of the time going to come out of our conversation.
And on the other hand, whenever we come from the place of love, understanding and compassion more understanding and love is what we are going to receive.
Communication itself is simply a tool and where we come from whenever we communicate with the other person is what is going to determine the quality of our our conversation.
And when we learn to see how this is true we can begin to use this tool to deepen the feeling of love when it comes to our relationships, instead of innocently ending up making things worse.
When we get caught up in our negative thinking
Whenever I come from the place of frustration when it comes to my relationship the more frustration I’ll most of the times experience.
If I come from this place when having a conversation with my partner, I can easily notice how my partner may also start to get tense and feel frustrated.
And soon we have two people in our relationship, both feeling frustrated with one another and both caught up in their limiting, judgmental thinking.
But on the other hand, whenever I recognize that the feeling from where I’m coming from is frustration and get more suspicious in my own ability to think clearly and judge in the moment, my level of awareness goes up.
My understanding deepens and I remember again that from this state of mind if I communicate with the other person, not only will I many times end up making things worse, but also I cannot see the world clearly.
I understand that the best I can do whenever my level of thinking is low is to allow my mind to calm down first, before getting too involved in a conversation with the other person.
Conversations that allow us to enjoy better relationships
Whenever my mind calms down and I start to feel better, I’m in a much better place to communicate with my partner.
Not only am I not that caught up in my thinking anymore and can see the other person’s point of view with more clarity, but also I can feel more connected to my partner.
When we come from this place of goodwill and understanding the other person can feel this. It allows them to more easily let go of their armours too and feel more of the connection that exists in our relationships.
From this place we are two people with our open minds and hearts.
Not only are we in a much better place to find solutions, than those times when we are caught up in our judgmental thinking, but also we can feel more understood and feel the love and connection we have for one another.
Whenever we come from this place we automatically improve our relationships. We allow the feelings of love and connection to deepen and find practical solutions more effortlessly.
Communicating more from the place of love
If we want to experience more love when it comes to our relationships and experience better relationships we need to self come more from that place of love and understanding within us.
We want to communicate more from the place of kindness when we are with the other person.
There’s nothing that we cannot really talk about, but the feeling from where we come from matters and determines the quality of our conversations.
If we want to find solutions and deepen the feeling of connection we want to self come more from the place of love when we communicate with the other person.
Not all of our communication need to be from the place of love, we are all humans after all. But understanding that the more we come from this place the better relationships we’ll have, will automatically allow us to show up more from this place.
It will allow us to be more graceful whenever we are not at our bests, do less damage and share more of the love whenever we feel the feeling of connection.
The deeper understanding that we have will ultimately allow us to communicate and come more from the place of love, and therefore also deepen the feelings of love and understanding when it comes to our relationships.
Sharing an understanding that allows us to connect more with that deeper part within us, so that we can find our own answers from within, find that greater sense of wellbeing and have relationships that feel good. Receive my weekly emails about love and wellbeing or learn more about my 30 Day Relationship program and One-on-one coaching here.