How do I deal with my negative feelings.

How do I deal with my negative feelings?

How do I deal with my negative feelings.

— With awareness and deeper understanding.

This is how negative emotions used to look like to me prior coming across this understanding.

After I got interested in spirituality in my early twenties, I got my first taste of these deeper feelings of calmness and connection. That was also when experiencing any heavier feelings became harder for me.

I wanted to experience more fulfillment and less negativity. At that time I thought that negative feelings were something that I needed to deal with. I thought that I needed to deal with my emotions, and get rid of the negativity, in order for me to get what I wanted and to simply enjoy life.

That’s when dealing with my emotions became a battle. And the funny thing is that the more I saw it as a problem, that I didn’t always feel as good as I wanted, the deeper I dived into the negative feeling state.

I was about to think that things couldn’t get any worse, and the anxiety that I began to experience felt unbearable, but that’s when my experience suddenly changed. Out of nowhere I stumbled upon this understanding that perfectly explained me what was happening in my life.

I understood the link between thought and our emotions — And how every negative feeling that I was experiencing came from a negative thought.

The more my understanding about this deepened, the more I began to recognize how my negative feelings were never the problem. They were only simply telling me where was my thinking in the moment, and could only be seen as a problem if I believed my thoughts.

I began to recognize how my negative feelings didn’t have any power over me, unless I allowed them to have that power. If I didn’t take them too seriously and simply didn’t pay that much attention to them, they’d come and go on their own.

If I didn’t get stuck with my feelings and started to actively think about whatever I was caught up with when I was feeling negative, a new thought would always come in and change my experience. I would soon start to feel better and see more with clarity again. And out of nowhere my understanding would deepen.

Whenever I’d feel judgement, I knew that my feelings were telling me more about myself and the feeling state where I was in, than about the other person.

If I felt disappointed, I knew that as soon as my mind calmed down and I let go of my negative thinking, I’d see my situation in a whole new light and with more understanding.

If I felt hurt, I knew that the other person didn’t have any power to hurt me, but my feelings of hurt would always come from the way I saw my situation and the other person.

And whenever I’d feel anxious, I knew that my anxiety was not telling me anything about my situation or the reality, and everything about where was my own mind in the moment.

Whatever negative feelings that I was experiencing, I knew that my mind was momentarily clouded by my thinking and I couldn’t see clearly. And I knew that as soon as my thinking would settle, I’d see the other person, my situation and the outside world with deeper understanding and greater awareness.

I simply knew that no matter how it looked like to me when I was caught up in my emotions, other people were never to blame for my feelings and I’d never need to expect anything from the other person in order for me to feel good again.

The more we try to deal with our negative emotions, the more stuck we get with the content of our thinking that was in the first place creating the feeling.

On the other hand the less we see our emotions as a problem, the more awareness we have of the true nature of our experience, and the lighter and more loving will be our experience.

— Always.

The less caught up we get with our emotions and negative thinking and the more we allow the natural flow of life to flow through us, the more in touch we begin to get with our True nature.

Our True nature that is there behind our experience and that is the peace, calmness, love and deeper understanding, that is there for us to experience when we don’t get attached and identify ourselves with our thinking.

The more my understanding deepens, the more I begin to see how this is true. The less caught up I get with the human side of our experience and the more I’m able to experience the spiritual reality, that is more true.

If you look closely you’ll see that your negative experience is never solid, but always changing depending on your feeling state and level of awareness in the moment. And if you look even closer you’ll realize that behind your conceptual thinking there’s the truth that is unchangeable. The truth that cannot be understood by your intellectual mind, but that can only be felt.

It’s when you go beyond your personal thinking, it’ll be there for you to experience. For this you need to be willing to let go of the negative and see that there’s more for you to see. There’s more for you to see those times when you’re in the middle of it all.

Your openness and presence that awakens when you recognize this, will allow that space that opens up to be filled with these beautiful feelings of your own True nature.

The less caught up we get with our negative emotions, the less negativity we create — And the more time we’ll have to experience our own True nature, that is pure love and understanding.

The less we identify ourselves with our thinking and the more we recognize that there’s something deeper there, the more closer we get to the truth.

We don’t need to try to stop feeling negative. But recognizing that our feelings are created from within will naturally allow us to shift our experience, and experience more of the lightness of being who we are from the core.

With love
Heidi

Heidi Paavilainen

Sharing an understanding that allows us to connect more with that deeper part within us, so that we can find our own answers from within, find that greater sense of wellbeing and have relationships that feel good. Receive my weekly emails about love and wellbeing or learn more about my 30 Day Relationship program and One-on-one coaching here.

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