When I look back in time the one thing that has made the biggest shift when it comes to my relationships by far has been learning where my experiences come from — Learning about the Three Principles.
Learning about these principles has allowed me to see two things:
1. That in those moments of stress and despair the other person is not to blame for my feelings — My experience is always coming from within me.
2. Just like the other person is not to blame when it comes to my stressful feelings, they are not the source of my wellbeing, love and happiness either.
Understanding this in a deeper level has made all the difference when it comes to my relationships. I can get over myself more easily when it comes to my negative feelings and I can connect more with that love and wellbeing within me when I am with other people.
— And when we come from this place of love and wellbeing we cannot help but bring out the best in our relationships and other people too.
The misunderstanding many of us have
In those moments when we feel sad, angry, jeleous, desperate or any other negative feeling and we blame the other person for our feelings we are caught up in an illusion.
We are believing in a reality that is painted with the colors of our negative emotions.
The other person cannot make us feel anything, because our feelings are coming directly from our own thinking. It is the way we see our situation and the other person that makes us feel in a certain way, not the other person nor their behavior.
When we see this to be true we free ourselves to experience our relationships in a new way that is more loving and understanding.
We free ourselves to be happy no matter of our outside circumstances and the people around us.
The true nature of thought
The nature of thought is that it’s always changing.
When we understand that our experiences are created by our thinking, we begin to see how our experience of our relationships can change in a heartbeat.
The other person is not the source of our negative emotions and therefore we don’t have to hold onto the past and the mistakes that have been made.
We become free to meet the other person in the present moment, without the weight of our past, and when we meet the other person from this space we cannot help but feel the love that exists in the present moment — And the love that exists in our relationships.
Happiness and love within us
Just like the other person is not the source for our negative emotions, they are not the source of the love and happiness we experience either.
Love and happiness are feelings created within us — They are the natural state of our being.
The only thing that can take us away from our wellbeing is we ourselves, innocently taking our own stressful thinking too seriously.
And yet, we can never really take love and happiness away from ourselves — Because love and happiness is who we are from the essence of our being.
The only thing we can do is to become unaware of these feelings, by getting too caught up in our negative emotions and believing in the illusion created by our own thinking.
The only thing we need is to awake again back to the reality, that we are creating our experiences by using these Three Principles we are gifted with, and as soon as we do, we fall back into the present moment and back into the feeling of love.
Three Principles as a foundation for good relationships
These Three Princinciples together create our experiences and allow us to experience life.
Thought — This divine gift like Sydney Banks used to call it, begins to work behind the scenes as soon as we are born and creates our moment-to-moment experience of life — And our relationships.
Consciousness — allows us to be aware of our thinking and aware of our experiences. There are moments when we see everything clearly and moments when our view is blurred with our stressful thinking. Consciousness brings our experiences alive, regardless of the quality of our thinking — What we think we’ll feel, and how we see our relationships that is how we’ll experience them.
And then there’s the Universal Mind — The all energy behind life that is the source of our thinking and the source of everything. It’s the source we use to form our experience of our life, love and relationships.
These Principles together allow us to have this gift of experiencing life and it’s the way we use this gift that determines the quality of our relationships.
The more we see through the illusionary nature of our experiences and how these principles play behind the scenes forming our experiences, the more present we become and the more we can experience our life and relationships as they truly are.
— And the more we do this, the more we see where our experience of life comes from the more present we become, and the more we slip into these beautiful feelings of love, happiness and wellbeing allowing these qualities to fill our relationships too.