At that time it might be hard to see.
When it hurts and we are experiencing the loss of love and feel like our lives are falling into pieces.
However if we reflect for moment we may recognize that as soon as our thinking settles down — even slightly — our experience always changes. Those moments when our thoughts shift from our broken heart to something else.
That’s when those desperate thoughts begin to subside, and more neutral and hopeful ones begin to take their place.
When we experience a heartbreak our heart is not really broken, but we are momentarily experiencing a lower level of awareness about life.
Nothing is broken — And as soon as we let go of the kind of thinking that is causing us pain, we can recognize how this is true.
What happens when we say that we experience heartbreak is that we get momentarily caught up in our own limiting perception of life.
We experience our negative, hopeless, judgemental thinking and cannot see the world clearly through the cloud of our thinking.
From this state of mind it’s natural that we see only the negative side of the story and we may feel like we’ll never be happy again.
The level of thinking that we are experiencing in that moment is low, which has an effect on our level of understanding about life.
The way we feel has nothing to do with what has happened and everything to do with our own level of thinking in the moment.
Understanding what creates our experience
If we pay closer attention, we may recognize that even during our heartbreak our experience changes all the time.
There are times when everything feels hard and times when we experience moments of peace and calmness.
Those times when we feel better we shift our focus from the pain to something else.
We might be thinking about our daily routines, work, the weather or a warm shower. It doesn’t really matter what we are thinking, but our thinking is more calm because we are not focused on our negative thoughts.
When we experience heartbreak what happens is that we experience negative thoughts that we take too seriously.
We don’t recognize that our experience is not coming from losing the other person, but it’s simply created by the way we see life at that moment.
We can never experience life itself, but we can only ever experience our own perception of life.
And if we don’t understand this we may innocently stay in our lower level of state of mind, for an unnecessary long period of time.
When our perspective shifts we feel better
As soon as we recognize that our experience of the heartbreak is created through our thinking, our new level of awareness allows us to begin to feel better. It always does.
We stop continuously thinking about our negative thoughts and allow our thinking to flow more freely. We may still experience pain and experience negative thinking, but our newly found awareness doesn’t allow us to get caught up in our thinking the same way are used to.
Our perspective widens and we begin to experience more of those moments of peace and happiness. We begin to feel better and see life more clearly, more objectively again.
What a moment ago looked like the biggest loss of our life, from this level of understanding may look like a beginning of something new and beautiful.
From this place when we are not caught up in our thinking anymore — but are more present for life — we see things more as they are, feel better and the world looks more hopeful again.
Our natural state of being
Whenever we experience heartbreak we get momentarily caught up in our thinking.
We take our negative, stressful thinking too seriously and are experiencing the feelings that are connected to this level of thinking.
However as soon as our thinking shifts, our experience changes and we begin to feel better. We fall out of our heads back to the present moment and back to our natural state of being — Which is balance.
This is the state we always come back to as soon as our thinking settles down.
Understanding this doesn’t mean that we’ll never get hurt again and suffer — No. We all experience our humanness and get caught up in our thinking from time to time.
However when we understand what is happening, our awareness allows us to go through those moments more gracefully.
We get less caught up in our thinking, feel more in peace with what is and allow our experience to change more effortlessly.
This is how we can more easily let go of the pain, return back to our natural state of being which is balance and fall in love with life again.
Sharing an understanding that allows us to connect more with that deeper part within us, so that we can find our own answers from within, find that greater sense of wellbeing and have relationships that feel good. Receive my weekly emails about love and wellbeing or learn more about my 30 Day Relationship program and One-on-one coaching here.