This week I stumbled upon a conversation in media between two very different kind of woman. This conversation evoke a lot of discussion and divided people.
While I was not that drawn into the conversation, it was interesting for me to see how quick we can sometimes judge one another.
Whether it’s another woman, our partner, a friend, kids or a complete stranger, we may get caught up in our heads and begin to judge.
What I’ve learn to see is that whenever we judge another human being, our view about the situation is always limited and we cannot see the whole truth.
And on the other hand whenever we are able to see beyond our limiting thinking, we always shift our focus from judgment to understanding, see the situation more as it truly is, and ultimately enjoy better relationships.
Where is our experience coming from
How differently would we treat one another if we awakened to see more where our experiences are truly coming from.
If we stopped for a moment and realized that we are not experiencing the reality as it is. We are not experiencing the other person as they are, but we are simply experiencing our own thinking about whatever it is that is going on in our lives.
When it comes to judgement we are not experiencing the other person as they are, but we can only ever experience our own perception of them.
And whenever we judge we are always caught up in our thinking and experiencing a very limited view of the reality.
When we don’t see clearly
It’s scientifically proven that whenever we experience stress the smartest part of our brain is not working. Our view of the world is limited and we don’t see the outside world clearly.
This means that whenever we experience our negative, stressful and judgmental thinking we don’t see the other person for who they truly are. But we view the situation throught the lens created by our momentary state of mind.
We don’t recognize the other person’s point of view and where they are coming from, but we take things very personally. From this state of mind we may innocently judge one another.
However, if we awaken to see that we are caught up in our thinking and that from the level of thinking we are experiencing we cannot see the moment clearly, we begin to view the situation with more understanding.
Seeing the other person with the eyes of understanding
There are times when I personally judge other people.
I get caught up in my head and may judge my partner if he does something that I don’t like, a friend or a complete stranger. We cannot escape our humanness.
But what is different for me is that I have very little respect for my judgmental thinking. I don’t tend to take myself so seriously whenever I feel judgmental anymore.
I know that whenever I feel negative and judgmental I’m simply caught up in my head and cannot trust my thinking in the moment.
I know that whenever I let go of my thinking, whenever my mind calms down and I become more present, my thinking changes and I’ll see the other person and the situation in a completely new light.
My understanding about the situation deepens and I begin to see the other person and the world more as it is.
I recognize the other person’s point of view, where they are coming from and my feelings of judgement transform into the feelings of compassion and love.
What is left is love
“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” — Mother Teresa
We can always view the other person either through the eyes of judgement or through the eyes of understanding and love.
Whenever we fall out of our heads and let go of our judgmental thinking, we become more present and we begin to see things more as they truly are.
We recognize the other person’s point of view and begin to see things that we may easily dismiss whenever we are caught up in our heads.
We begin to see how for another person to hurt someone they always need to be caught up in their stressful thinking and how the experience of hurt we are experiencing is never coming directly from what the other person says or does. But our experience is always coming form within us, through our own thinking.
This allows us to recognize that we have always the ability to see our situation and the other person in a new light — In a more truthful light.
And as soon as we fall out of our heads and let go of our thinking, our understanding deepens and we begin to see the world through the eyes of love.
Whenever we let go of judgment, what is left is love.
Sharing an understanding that allows us to connect more with that deeper part within us, so that we can find our own answers from within, find that greater sense of wellbeing and have relationships that feel good. Receive my weekly emails about love and wellbeing or learn more about my 30 Day Relationship program and One-on-one coaching here.