Why relationship problems are really problems in our level of state of mind.

Why relationship problems are really problems in our level of state of mind?

Why relationship problems are really problems in our level of state of mind.

There are no relationship problems, but the problems that we experience when it comes to our relationships are really problems of our level of state of mind.

This was something that I heard Dr. Bill Pettit mentioning the other day when I was watching one of his videos, and it immediately rang true to me.

Why relationship problems are really problems in our level of understanding? Well because if we look closer we’ll see that our problems can only ever exist in our lower levels of thinking.

Whenever we feel good, feel loved there’s no problems when it comes to our experience. And on the other hand, whenever we feel insecure, hurt and disappointed we see problems and challenges. This is simply how every single one of us we work.

What most of us believe is that in order for us to get into that state of love and wellbeing, we need to overcome our challenges. We believe that we need to overcome our problems in order for us to feel good.

When in fact what I’ve come to see is quite the opposite.

Whenever we find that state of happiness, that state of love our so called challenges seem to disappear.

We don’t need to overcome our problems in order for us to feel good. But we simply need to learn to see our problems and challenges in a new light. We need to allow our level of awareness to go up, in order for us to find that state of love and happiness again and in order for us to overcome our challenges.

How is this true?

Well when we learn to recognize more how our mind works this becomes common sense for us.

When we learn to recognize that whenever we feel low and experience our problems our level of state of mind is low. And what happens when we experience this low level of state of mind is that our perspective narrows down.

The smartest part of our brain stops working and we see the world and our relationships very subjectively. We take things personally and see the other person through the negative lens created by our emotions. We don’t see them as they truly are, but our vision is blurred by our negative feelings.

From this place it’s normal that we experience problems. When our level of understanding is low it’s normal that we feel hurt, judgmental and discouraged. It’s normal that we see only the things that we don’t like in the other person and in our relationship. From this level of state of mind it’s hard for us to recognize the good.

On the other hand whenever our level of state of mind rises, we’ll find ourselves experiencing a new level of understanding. 

Our perspective becomes wider and we begin to see the other person and our relationship more objectively. Whenever our thinking is not clouded by our negative emotions, we begin to see things more as they truly are.

We begin to see the good in the other person and and feel connected to them again. Instead of seeing the other person with the eyes of judgement, we see them now with the eyes of unconditional love and compassion. Not only do we see things more as they truly are, but we’ll also find that feeling of love and connection again.

It’s not that we need to solve our problems in order for us to feel good and find that feeling of love and happiness when it comes to our relationships. But when we first find those feelings of love and contentment, our level of awareness rises and our mind clears.

And from this level of state of mind we begin to recognize how there never really was any problems in the first place.

From this place we simply know what to do, say and what action to take. And many times we may recognize how there’s simply nothing that we need to do.

If we act from that place of our lower levels of thinking we always end up making things worse. And on the other hand whenever we trust our thinking when our mind clears and we feel close to the other person, whatever we say or do can only ever deepen our relationship.

Understanding this is the key because it allows us to relate to the other person and act from that place of love.

We are not anymore two people trying to relate to one another in the darkness or our negative emotions, innocently ending up making things worse. But we are more conscious beings relating to one another from that place of unconditional love and deeper understanding.

And whenever we do this a completely different person shows up in front of our eyes. Whenever our level of awareness goes up we always experience more love, contentment and other beautiful feelings. And the more conscious we become the more beautiful relationships we begin to experience.

Whenever we show up from that higher level of state of mind, from that place of love and understanding, we bring light there where there’s darkness and awareness there where we have self been unaware.

Why our relationship problems are really problems in our level of state of mind? Well because our problems and challenges can only ever exist in our lower levels of thinking.

And whenever our understanding deepens and our level of awareness goes up, we find that feeling of love and connection again, our mind clears and we simply know what to do. And instead of working on our problems we see them simply disappearing in front of our eyes.

That’s the power of love and our deeper level of understanding.

There are no relationship problems when our level of awareness goes up, only people relating to one another from that place of love and deeper level of awareness.

Heidi Paavilainen

Sharing an understanding that allows us to connect more with that deeper part within us, so that we can find our own answers from within, find that greater sense of wellbeing and have relationships that feel good. Receive my weekly emails about love and wellbeing or learn more about my One-on-one coaching program here.

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